Not been the best blog poster lately and I'm sure it has to do with the state I am in these days.
First off, let me say, this is my BLOG, I write it to say what is on my mind, not to be scrutinized or talked about. Privacy is hard these days, but i started this BLOG years ago to document my life FOR MY FAMILY. No one else. I could make this post private, but I am not going to because it goes against the grain.
So here it goes....
Mid january, my routine, my life, my job changed completely unexpectedly. Without warning the on call staff where I have worked for 16+ years no longer had hours for us . Now let me be clear, I knew when I went on call 7 years ago that no shifts were guaranteed. That there was a risk to going on call....MY risk to take and worth every second because it meant I could be there for the boys when needed. But the one thing I didn't expect is to be put aside without warning. I can't say my feelings aren't hurt. I can't say I am not mourning the loss.I can't say I don't feel betrayed. I didn't get to chose to leave there. It was chosen for me. The one thing that makes me so very disappointment is that there were 8 positions available but these positions were not posted in our unit for the on call staff to take....even though I had been routinely applying for any fte that was posted....so now, the people who have been like family to me are no longer part of my daily life. The doctors who have grown to trust me and i have grown to love are now seen just occasionally. Makes me sad.
I am still on call there. And will work as much as I can, but for now that seems to be about 4 shifts a month. The only thing I can do is enjoy the time I am there, cultivate those relationships even from a far, and continue to be the hard worker, dependable, trust worthy, experienced, and reliable nurse that i have always been....some things, to me, are more important than the bottom line...relationships and honoring those relationships.....even when things get hard and change is needed.
And thankfully, I am so, so thankful and blessed to now be working on call at another local hospital. Iabsolutely love the staff!! Our personalities fit like a glove. i am so thankful for the flexibility and the opportunity so i can continue to provide what I need for my family and continue to do the skill I was called to do.
Each time i log into the computer I am reminded that i am so far behind on my blogging. I don't know if it the convenience of face book or what but I have not been diligent about documenting my life. Throughout this time off, i have considered maybe NOT blogging anymore. I went through the pros and the cons, but then realized, I Blog for no one but myself. I enjoy the role of memory keeper for this family. As I work on our scrapbooks it is such a joy to go back through my blog and recall the emotions and details of the event. So without further Ado...here is the past 4 weeks or so in a nutshell....
My last post talked about the snow finally hitting Washington. little did I know, the few days following that first snowfall we would be hit by massive amounts of snow and ice. Causing the power to be out throughout western washington. Some for a week or longer. We were lucky to have only lost it for about 24 hours. It was actually quite peaceful. Our wood stove kept us toasty. The boys are all old enough to understand they have to find ways to entertain themselves. We played games, read, took walks, played with the dogs and cats and just enjoyed this unique weather.
The morning of the big snow, the boys woke up in almost a Christmas morning state. They walked up the stairs and saw the 18 inches of scow that fell over night and simultaneously their jaws dropped and their eyes sparkled with excitement.
{ sweet Nolen, the excitement he had for the snow was contagious}
{taking a walk through the neighbor hood with with Newman's}
{Lily and Daphne}
{sorry for the sideways view at the end, watching Blossom pounce through the snow was hilarious!}
{Since we have a Suburban, we were one of the lucky ones that could drive. Nothing more wonderful for a mom when your teenage boys want to go hang out together and play in the snow}
{Uncle Andy shoveling off his roof. He was concerned with the weight of all the snow}
The next morning, the snow switched to ice. I had actually driven to work that day so i missed seeing the world turn from snow to ice. Driving home, i could tell there was going to be a ton of destruction. Trees and limbs were just snapping. All you could hear outside was quiet because there was no power anywhere and the snapping sound of trees around us.
The power went out at about 7:30 in the morning. Luckily, i have always been into preparedness, so we broke out the candles, lanterns, canned soup, hot chocolate and hunkered down. Santa had even brought us a portable radio/electronics charger that powers by winding a handle. We could keep our ipods and phones charged for entertainment.
The boys missed that whole week of school. But once they returned, we were all hit the floor running. Right now basketball consumes most of our time. Between AYden at the high school, Ketner with his tournament team and Nolen with Middle school ball, we are running around constantly.
Ayden's season is now done.It was a growing year for sure. It was a challenging year for sure, full of ups and downs and lots of emotions and adaptions. Ayden is his own worst enemy and as a mom it is so hard to watch the struggle with his confidence. He has had a coach for years who understood him and new what to say and when to say it. And this year, every game was like the first game. there were 16 boys on the team so if you got a chance to play you almost felt like you were having to prove yourself all over again. Any mistake felt like the weight of the world to Ayden. He is such a hard work and expects only the best from himself and when he feels like he didn't live up to his expectations, he has a hard time moving on. THis, i pray , will resolve with growth and maturity...but oh, it is so, so hard.
Ketner has been competeing in some local tournaments, they have been nail bighters for sure but they came up with the win in both events. So proud to watch these boys play with humbleness, determination and poise.
Lets just say the wins didn't come easy:
{Luke Kiley was fouled hard! His poor tooth was left in the gym floor...luckily they could reattach it the next day but this stud continued to play!!}
Another change for us was having 1 less boy in braces!! yahoo!!!
This same hottie tottie freshman went to the Sadie Hawkins dance this weekend. (not sure what Sadie's is because we never had it but i think it is like informal tolo). His girlfriend, sweet Jessica, asked him at her superbowl party.
so, so cute!!
Honestly, takes my breath away ;)
Finally, i know this has been long and way picture packed but I had many weeks to catch up on so bear with me :) My work has unexpectedly provided me with more time at home so i am taking advantage of this opportunity.
phew! Hopefully I have learned a lesson here, life goes on, but you gotta keep up!!! I will miss this business someday and cherish looking back through the years.
